From Rougue To Luna novel Chapter 54

Guilt.

Anger.

Sadness.

My breathing began to quicken and it felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. I leaned forward, pressing my arms against my knees as I hung my head over, holding it heavily in my hands as I raked them through my mussed blonde waves. "Oh my...How could this be true? She's been alive all this time...with him."

Something in me snapped and I leapt off of the bed, pacing in front of it as I tugged at my hair in frustration, pressing my hands hard into my scalp as I growled in anger. It was beginning to consume me.

"How could he have taken her from me? Lied to me. Hidden her away as if she didn't belong to me. She is mine. I have to get to her. I have to get her away from him before he hurts her." My words were leaving my mouth in quick spurts. I sounded insane as they tumbled out of me, my chest tightening as it became hard to breathe. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest, it felt as if it was going to leap out of my chest and run straight to her.

Rhett jumped off of the bed and quickly walked to stand in front of me, wrapping his large hands around my shoulders as he stopped my manic movements. "Lili, breathe. Come on, in and out. Do it with me."

He steadied me as he breathed in a dramatic breath through his nose and exhaled out of his mouth. I mirrored his movements several times, slowly feeling myself become somewhat grounded.

"Better?" He said softly, loosening his grip on my shoulders.

I nodded shakily as I met his gaze. "Thank you." I said softly.

His hand found mine and he tugged me outside towards the fresh air. I followed woodenly, moving slowly as he guided me to lean against the railing. I felt my heart beginning to slow to a steady quick beat, breathing in once more through my nose and out of my mouth as I closed my eyes. I let out a final shaky breath before turning to face him.

"How did you know it was her? That she was mine? It's been so long. It could be anyone's child but mine." I said quietly, trying to think rationally for the first time since he walked through my door.

I shook the negative thoughts from my head, trying to erase the countless memories of nights sweating from fever, barely living through the infection that had wreaked havoc on my body. Nearly killed me.

An overwhelming shame was beginning to eat at me, twisting my insides into tight knots and I didn't know how long I could hold it all inside. I stepped out of his grasp and gripped my hands into the railing at an attempt to hold me to the ground as I looked out into the dark forest in front of me.

"Don't do that." I whispered through clenched teeth.

He exhaled and stepped closer, but was careful not to touch me. "Do what?" he asked, confusion lacing his voice.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing instead of the memories flooding my mind of the last three years of my life. The life I could have had with my daughter. "Look at me like you couldn't be more proud to have me standing in front of you. Like I'm the only person in the world."

He sighed as his fingers tapped absently on the wood next to me before leaning forward to rest his forearms against the railing.