Fleeing the Nightmarish Father novel Chapter 64

“I-I don’t understand what are you trying to say, Dariel. What did I do? What about me bothered you?” She gulped.

Looking down, my lips quivered, gathering my courage to tell her why I hated kindness in the first place, why I never wanted people to exist.

“My mother. She… was kind too, just like you, forgiving, smiling always. Not once, Saafia shared her sorrow with us…”

An unwanted tear rolled down my cheek followed by an unstoppable sob, freeing the weight I had been carrying as agony for too long.

“If she had, if- if- she had let me know I would have done something but she.. She killed herself… Her wrist was cut, why did she do this to herself? To her children?!”

“What!?”

Gasping, she embraced me quickly, rubbing my back to soothe and the solace it gave was immeasurable.

Her arms felt like home.

“She didn’t think once about us and did this to herself! I was there to listen but she kept it inside herself and did this. I had seen her body, Saafia! There was so much blood, it still gives me nightmares! I was so scared…”

Sobbing, I clung onto her hopelessness, Hiding my face in her chest. Believing that if I left her shelter, I would fall apart.

“A-And I can’t watch you going through the same. I will protect you even if it is the last thing I have to do.”

Muffling a cry, I held her shoulders, looking at her with my teary eyes. Breathless, devastated yet holding onto one determination.

Protecting her.

“I am sorry to hear this, Dariel but.. I am not like that, I don’t carry complaints in my heart. I am not forcing any emotions, believe me.” She whispered.

Letting out a heartbreaking tear too, holding my face in her small hands, encasing so delicately that I wanted to believe blindly in her.

“Yes you do, last night you said I make you feel not worth it and all those things. You are walking down the same path as hers but I won’t let you leave me how she did.”

“I am not going to leave you, Dariel. Please, I am here. I am not that weak to lose before life. I know we were only kidding around.” She tried to speak expectantly but failed.

Moving my hand to the side of her face to her locks.

I pressed my forehead against hers, not opening my eyes while moving my heartbeats in rhythm with hers hammering ones.

“I don’t want you to end up like her… The way you were smiling while looking at Jared and Veronica… I cannot erase that image from my mind… The way you were hurting but not showing. It didn’t mean anything to you but it scared me.”

Losing my breaths, I took many pauses while speaking, bringing her small body to my chest, gripping onto her with my life source as I snuggled to her neck.

“And when we met at the parking lot, It was not a coincidence, I was actually waiting for you, I didn’t want you to break. I wanted to help you, do anything possible…”

To say Saafia was flabbergasted would be an understatement.

She never perceived there would be an under layer behind this marriage but only if she knew that my bond with her was much older than she thought.

Her face literally glowed, grinning at my honest reply, “Really?”

“Mhm. I am sorry I can’t provide you with love, I don’t know how to in the first place but I won’t make you cry again. I won’t push you away. Just forgive me this time. Don’t leave me like everyone.” I murmured.

“I won’t. I am sure one day my feelings will reach you. I have faith in my feelings.” She hummed, accepting my warmth instantly.

“And a ‘delicate doll’ like me is impossible to resist anyways.”

She cracked a joke, recalling I called that on the engagement, poking my cheek as we both chuckled huskily.

“I know I am difficult to handle, I say mean things, I hurt you, I am arrogant, definitely not a prince of your dreams but… don’t abandon me.” I whispered.

Pulling her to my chest so I could hug her, placing my weight on her shoulders as I was too exhausted to carry on at the moment.

“Do you think I will?” She asked, arching an eyebrow challengingly.

Staring at her for the next few seconds, I smiled purely, shaking my head in denial, having faith in my Saafia.

“No.”

When I held her, I found my lost home.