A Forced Contract Marriage with the Devil novel Chapter 186

ALESSANDRO’S POV

“I ran away and I still couldn’t get rid of your torture. I have spent the last four hundred and thirty days looking over my shoulder, dreading the day you will find me and make me pay for running away from you, for betraying you. Every single night, my nightmares haunted me with visions of you killing me, again and again. I couldn’t even get a single night of restful sleep, Alessandro. I was so afraid to close my eyes. I was afraid to fall asleep.”

I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration and glanced over at him incredulously. How could he say that? How could he even think it? I’m far from a saint, sure, I’m the worst husband imaginable, but I’ve never even considered laying a hand on him, let alone killing him.

“If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it the day I saw you with Logan in the club. I would have done it when you fucking left me to go and live at your friend’s place, Jack. I would have done it when I got to know that you drunk yourself like a fool in the club and passed out. I would have done it when you fucking disrespected me again and again. I can fucking kill you right the fuck now. I can kill you this very second, Nikolai. If I wanted to, if…” Words came out of my mouth and it was too late to stop myself.

He was my fucking weakness… and now he knew that. He was not just a fucking person, he was my heart manifested in physical form. If my heart was a person, it would have looked exactly like him.

He was the one thing in this world that had the power to shatter me completely, and he didn’t even need to try. One look from him, one broken word falling from his lips, and I felt like I was made of fucking glass. I could kill a man without blinking, dismantle empires without remorse, but one fucking tear in his eyes and I was on my knees.

I may have been too proud to admit to his face what he meant to me, too fucked–up to say the words, but it was never my fucking intention to make him feel that way. To make him feel unsafe. Unloved.

I have never been able to make sense of my emotions, and I have always tried desperately to get rid of them, but how does one cut out their own deceitful heart?

This was wrong, so fucking wrong. I could not love him because my love is not something he deserves. Someone like him doesn’t deserve the misery, danger, and suffering that comes with loving me.

My love was like a raging wildfire, consuming everything in its path.

My love was a fucking inferno…

It will burn him and watching him burn like that will fucking burn me.

“I don’t want to be with you, I can’t live like this….. I can’t be a gay forever“, He spoke.

I nodded, looking down at the floor, “Nikolai…”

“Alessandro…”

Whatever he was going to say got interrupted by the knock on the door. Sighing, he stood up and walked to it.

The fucker from the morning entered his apartment, the one he called his boyfriend, the previous warmth left my body as the resentment took over in mere seconds. What the fuck was he doing in my husband’s bedroom at this time of the night?!

“What are you doing here?” he asked, sounding a little shaken up.

“I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to apologize…” he trailed off before he frowned and touched his neck, “Wait, is that blood? Are you alright?!”

‘Marko, now is not the good time-*

“Why?

Chapter 186

I couldn’t fucking take it anymore as I decided to intervene, “Because he is with his fucking husband right now!”

His eyes went wide and he pulled out his gun in a second, “What is he doing here?”

‘I could ask you the same fucking thing!”

He came between us, placing both of his hands over our chests to keep us away from one another. “Alessandro, Marko, stop it. You are not children, for God’s sake!*

I turned to him, “What is he doing here? At this time of the night?!”

“Nothing!” he snapped at me and then looked at the fucker, “Marko was just leaving!”

“I’m not leaving you alone with him,” he gestured towards me with his chin.

I made Nikolai look at me by grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at me, “Are you fucking him?”

His eyes widened, “What?”

“Fucking answer me,” I said, I kept my voice low, afraid that I might lose my temper with him.

One second, I wanted to love him with everything in me, the next second, I wanted to snap him in half like a fucking twig. How can a guy mess me the fuck up like this?!

He pointed a finger at my face, “Don’t you dare demand anything from me!” he placed both of his palms over my chest and pushed me back, “How many guys have you fucked while I was gone?! And don’t even think about lying to me, Alessandro, because I don’t care if you slept with half of the New York, what I want is a fucking divorce.”

“Yeah, best of luck getting a divorce from me, Nikolai. You are fucking tied to me for life and I will make sure it stays that way till my last fucking breath!”

“Or I could shoot you right now and free him from you!” the fucker named Marko voiced.

I glanced at him and laughed, “Try it…”

The cocking of his gun resounded in the room and Nikolai’s eyes widened. He again got between us and this time, he faced him, “Marko, get

out!”

“I’m not leaving-”

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