Through the Screen novel Chapter 94

abel entered the kitchen hesitantly, silently watching as noah settled a stack of plates and a few spoons and forks on the counter, turning around and making his way to the fridge. when noah noticed abel discreetly standing at the threshold of the kitchen, he paused his actions, biting his lip and raising his eyebrows slightly at the younger boy who looked away as soon as their eyes met.

"you need something?" noah mumbled quietly, his fingers tightening their grip on the refrigerator handle but not opening it.

"y-your mum told me to help," abel flinched at his own voice, sounding just as pathetic as he felt. "sorry, i-i don't want to make you uncomfortable but i didn't know how to tell her—" abel begins to ramble nervously and noah just sighs, shaking his head and finally diverting his attention back to the fridge, opening it and taking out the chicken so it can be grilled.

"it doesn't matter," he responded vaguely, making his way to the stove as he ignited one of them and placed a grill pan on the gas. abel stood still, confused by his calm response.

somehow, he preferred the yelling and the tears and the breaking instead of this uncomfortable silence and the pretentious conversations. at least when noah was screaming at him, abel knew that he was bothered, that he loved him, that he cared. this vicarious persona however, was breaking abel 's heart in the worst way possible.

"i'm really sorry," abel blurted all of a sudden, watching as noah stopped his movements for a minute before resuming his work, as if he didn't hear the broken words slipping past abel lips.

"i don't care," noah muttered ignorantly, squeezing his eyes shut and pursing his lips as he tried to control his breathing. he had been trying to be as passive as possible in the past few hours; their irrelevant relationship was already bothering their son, noah didn't want to bother his mother as well.

i don't care, the words seemed to have knocked the breath entirely out of abel. he wasn't sure what they meant, whatever noah has said in the past five minutes—which were only two sentences—made abel 's mind even more chaotic.

"y-you don't?" abel asked, not sure if it even was an answerable question, but noah just shrugged his shoulders as if he wasn't bothered.

"it's obvious that you love someone else so i have no idea why you are even bothering with—"

"don't say that," abel whimpered, pulling the sleeves of his jumper over his hands and fisting the material harshly, his cheeks flushed with hurt and his eyes dropping shut as if he did not want to face the situation.

"why shouldn't i?" noah raised his voice just a little. "you slept with him even after i told you i—" noah paused, taking a deep breath to stop himself from crying again.

noah sighs once again, watching as abel 's fidgety fingers fail at taking the glass, and after a few seconds, he gives in, putting his hand on the back of abel 's head softly and pressing the rim of the glass against his bitten lips. abel just looks at him with wide eyes, panic only increasing at the close proximity and he chokes on the water, coughing and pulling away from the glass.

"it's okay, calm down, look at me," noah reaches up and pushes abel 's messy hair off his damp forehead, the palm of his hand involuntarily cupping abel 's cheek and his other hand pressing the glass to abel 's lips again, who this time tries to regulate his breathing, slowly drinking the cold liquid and letting it calm down his nerves.

"you okay?" noah can't help himself but run his fingers through the front of abel 's hair again, heart breaking at the sight of his tear stained pink cheeks and the dullness of his eyes as abel looked up at him, hesitantly nodding.

"thank you," abel mumbled quietly, taking the glass from noah in both his hands and noah just stared at him for moment before getting off the floor and walking back to the kitchen counter, and pressing his hands flat against the granite countertop.

he's afraid he loves abel too much to let him go.