The Mate That Wasn't Mine novel Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

MAXIM POV

She stays out of this room for hours every night. Whereas I return and wait. I skulk. I sulk. And sometimes I jark off I’m a man. Trapped in one hell of a dry spell.

Not once in the past four weeks has she re–entered this room before one in the morning. I know because i don’t fall asleep without her. Until she is back safe, my brain won’t switch off. I can shut my eyes and pretend to snore like an acting pro when her small hand rattles the black iron door handle though.

It’s almost cute that she thinks she’s stealthy. If we were on true speaking terms I’d inform her she’d make a shit assassin and best not be planning on following my career path.

Half the time I hear her trip up over the same bit of uneven stone and swear, well before she gets to the door. It makes me smile. Considering this month, its trainloads of dead bodies and worsening news from outside, a smile is welcome.

Two days ago, when Briggs put his arm around both Irene and Tessa after a scent trace and hugged the laughing pair close, I punched a wall. Very Ette smiling.

She’s back to helping them through the scent tracing. Stilt ignoring my advice. Infuriating little firecracker.

This past month has turned into some twisted game of chicken. Neither one of us wants to be caught glancing sadly at the other. But we’re fine. At every evening meal. We’re totally fine. I walk past the scent–tracing stable and hate that I have to keep walking.

It’s not fine. It’s pretty awful.

Cooling things with Tessa hurt us both. Those brown eyes I never really raved about have somehow stayed glued to the nearest table, wall or floor for four weeks now. Never looking at me. No chance of me catching those warm, cosy brown hues.

It’s infuriating. How can you miss something such a standard colour?

Tonight, I could walk into the dining hall and find forty other women with brown eyes, but they wouldn’t scratch that itch. Even the blue–eyed ones would probably give it their best shot. Princess Hazel being one of them I’m not stupid enough to go anywhere near flirting with her again but I can feel her crystal blue gaze across the dining hall all the same.

My wolf tugs at my temples, permanently frustrated with me. After my search for her mate mark that fateful night, I now know just how fucking perfect those rosy, hard nipples of hers look. The curves of her breasts, the swell of her stomach.

Just closing my eyes and revisiting how tightly her pussy clenched around my fingers in that room has me reaching for my dick.

Such as tonight. In my defence it was a tactical jerk–off.

She’s going to bite me again soon, It just feels so powerfully raw, exposed. Pain merged with pleasure, delivered via lightning bolts. Her name bursts out of me and I reach out to keep her for a few seconds longer.

So I reasoned, I’d have more of a grip of my emotions…if I got a grip of myself now. Tactical. Sensible even.

Especially since I almost made a fool of myself. Tonight, the dinner talk was too mundane. Allette made eyes at me, Silas and Kai. Irene and Tessa dwindle lower in spirits every evening.

Just before curfew tonight, I stormed out of our bedroom. My vague, half–plan was to storm up to her and demand she bite me now. When I had control of the situation. Make her look at me. Maybe slip/my hands around her waist.

Talk to her and make her realise that it’s working, we’re sinking into the background. Because I think she might despise me. Every time we take each other’s hands I can feel her fear travel up her slender arms.

Only to clear the accommodation blocks and have my route down to archery fumbled. A hurrying Donlon just outside the packhouse, his gray and white layers merging with his increasingly silver hair. He stops quickly, looking around skittishly. “Curfew Maxim? We don’t listen to bells anymore?”

1/4

Chapter 38

“Yes, but I am just looking for Tessa, she’s out here”

He rolls his one eye up to the stars. “I asked her, she doesn’t want you there.”

“What?”

Donton’s impatience blazes. “I checked on her. She said you were an unwanted distraction. So…it’s curfew. Get back to Block E now before you land in

trouble.”

“ll only be a moment-” but he gives me a glare of pure frustration and I shut up.

He placed a hand on my shoulder. “I did mention rejecting her before you got all tangled up in the bond.”

I bit my jaw. “No need, we’re good.”

“If you say so. Good night.”

Which explains why after having a shower, I decided to lay on the bed. Why not be naked, I had all the time I wanted to be gloomy. Without thinking reached out for her soft cotton pajamas.

The same flimsy garments I feel against my skin when she rolls into my arms every night.

We keep carving out these separate worlds for ourselves. She won’t look at me during the day, but every night, whether she realises it or not she winds her way to my side of the bed.

And I hold her. Every single night. Maybe it’s why I cannot sleep until she returns. That dreamy little sigh, her whole body planting along mine keeps my brain ticking over, waiting for the best bit of my day. Her leg across mine, hand on my chest. Head on top of my arm.

I can kid myself for a few hours every day, even if it’s in the pitch black of night. Her hands don’t wander as widely. More often she grips onto me, like a lift raft. But no more crazy, shaking dreams at least.

It leaves me exhausted. Staying up later than her every night, waking up earlier too, extracting myself like a true assassin, not like her bumbling

clumsiness.

Every morning she finds herself alone, on her side of the bed, and believes she’s keeping to her resolution not to go anywhere near me.

It’s yet another secret to keep. Really, I’m trying my best to keep the barricades exactly where they need to be. But I’m too selfish to let her go completely.

Sleeping completely alone now, after getting used to stroking her hair gently over her shoulder, nuzzling into the nape of her neck? More worryingly, what if I never hear her sleepy little murmurs, kidding myself she’s saying my name?

So I reduced this twisted chemistry to an animal fuckabout. Basic needs and primal wants. It’s not about the cosy, homey feeling of her soft body against mine. Not at all. It’s about needing to get my cock inside some hot wet heat and rut like I’m in some weird caveman breeding season.

The fact her fresh orange scent entering my mind tipped me over the edge is not relevant.

Until I realised the scent was fresh because she was standing three metres away. To add insult to the embarrassment of coming in my pants with her, now she’s seen me jerk off all across my stomach.

In that frozen moment where I finally gaze, dumbstruck into her brown eyes, I have to move the lumbering cogs of my brain swiftly. But I can’t. Her brown eyes are looking straight at my cock and it’s sending something through me I simply cannot handle.

My cock is still hard. Without thinking hand moves back up, then down, every nerve responding with fizzing, stomach clenching depth. Round two is happening. It feels so fucking good.

“Maxim…”

My abs are cramping up tightly, already that familiar feeling beginning to build. She cannot look away and it’s entrancing.

2/4

Chapter 38

You keep watching, I’m going to keep doing it grunt, the sensitive head thrumming fighting to keep my lips stiff, to look the trans

madness.

Tessa doesn’t move. Her eyes consume me whole.

Roughly working my thick cock, my eyes take in her appearance. She’s no flowing white–dressed angel like Princess Hazel Oh no ferver teste She covered in mud from the knees down. Her bow and quiver of arrows slowly placed down on the ground.

Her hair, is flowing down her shoulders in fiery waves. Like a warning flag. I want to close my eyes but then she might vanish again.

Pleasure hits me in waves, every rough, grope up and down my shaft for her, to show Tessa what she is capable of doing to a man who has his fucking

eyes open.

Her boot gently knocks the door shut behind her, her gaze still fixed upon me.

“Why are you holding my nightwear,” she whispers.

“Because it reminds me of you.”

“Of me?”

“Who else? Who else is going to make me lose my shit like this,” I groan.

“Not Princess Hazel?” but she isn’t saying it with malice. In fact I swear there is almost a grin.

“Not a chance.”