The Mate That Wasn't Mine novel Chapter 20

Chapter 20

MAXIM POV

Warden Marshall sighs with frustration. “I know you’re actually an intelligent man. But fucking hell…”

“I DON’T KNOW THE ANSWER!”

“You do. It’s just a painful truth to acknowledge.”

Rubbing the back of his neck his unflappable exterior finally has finally broken. Why the hell does he care so much about getting this out of me?

He’s been surly, rude, mean and vindictive. But never huffed and gnarled like a frustrated parent before.

I look down at the wretched thing. Every time I end up down here with him I vow to come back and burn this lump the next day.

I know he’ll upgrade, this punishment to flogging if I don’t obey. With a mighty, familiarly painful heave, I jerk the huge log upwards. Resting on my chest it swifty starts crushing my ribcage, splinters lancing my skin.

+28)

The more reps I heave the lighter my head gets. As dawn hits I feel myself breaking down into pieces.

I’ve suggested everything.

That I’m not liked. That I’m nothing, even with all the training.

Some of the phrases flying out of my mouth don’t even sound like something I would say yet I blurt them anyway.

Kai and Silas consider me just a joke. Or worse, a burden. I don’t deserve Tessa for a second. I’ll never escape my background. It all flies out of me.

I don’t ever allow myself to think things like that. Marshall finally has me pinned. I’m frantically laying out my flaws for him to inspect but nothing

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is right.

GO

It forms an unnerving dissociation from reality, spilling my darkest thoughts like blood across the forest floor.

“No,” is his miserable reply to every suggestion.

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Eventually the morning bells ring out faintly. I swear I heard Tessa call my name but that might be delirium.

My muscles are beyond cramp, possibly beyond healing, as a pink–blue sky leaves me squinting.

My vision begins to whiten, legs shaking mid–hoist.

Clarity strikes, like a blow to the chest.

Marshall knows what I saw. He just wants me to switch sides.

“You want my loyalty to ditch Donlon! Do your bidding!”

“No.”

“LIAR!”

“No.”

–

“You’re a fucking liar! You’re just jealous nobody looks up to you like we

do Donlon!”

I bellow in agony, the log sagging dangerously to my left. But focusing on the blonde, cool man before me, I think of how much I would give for Donlon to rescue me. I feel like a small boy peering over the horizon for their father to save them from the bullies.

Then it hits me. The truth I don’t want to admit. I give it one, shaky breath before spitting out. “I’m never getting the promotion. It won’t happen for me. I’m going to be exiled eventually.”

Marshall’s eyes lock onto mine. “Because?”

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“Fuck off!”

“Tell me. Tell me and it’s done.”

I stare in shock at finally hearing something other than ‘No‘

I give the log one more final, defiant heave, my feet unsteady, my voice cracking. The huge weight wobbles just inches above my skull.

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“Because I fucked Princess Hazel…Donlon won’t promote me. It would upset…Luna Sabrina. I’m not important enough to fight for, not compared to her! FUCK I HATE YOU! FUCKING HELL!”

Warden Marshall has to quickly leap out of the way when I hurl the log in his direction.

“Are you happy? You’ve got what you wanted?”

Marshall gives nothing away. “You’re done. Get some rest. You’re off duty today. I’ll amend the lists.”

I don’t thank him. I can’t even look at him properly. It’s taking everything my wolf can give to keep me standing. I hate that he’s finally scraped down to the bones of me and seen who I am. And it’s nothing worth knowing.

He pauses, taking in my shaking stance. “Maybe ask yourself why the Wardens were all on the lookout for Miss Darnell on the first day. I’ll give you that thought for free. Because, just maybe I’m not the cunt you think I am Pagano.”

“Definitely a cunt though,” I grunt lowly. He smirks at that. Goddess I hate him.

When he finally leaves, my legs give way and I collapse in a twisted heap. Thanking my wolf for saving this bit of physical failure for when no witnesses were around, I finally pass out.

****

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Coming round, groggily staring at the sun, my chest is a mess of splinters and shredded shirt. Leaving it behind, I sprinted back to Block E like a topless fool. No doubt gopssip will spread that I’ve been fighting or doing something worth punishing.

Her scent hit me the instant I walked in. But stood outside our bathroom

door, fighting a thousand silent battles, how do I explain what has happened?

What apology do I string together to make this okay?

What good can come of her knowing about Donlon and our Luna?

If they asked her about it she would crack. Then she would be flung off the cliff. Not exiled. Dead. That blush of hers flares up at just a glance let alone interrogation from the Alpha himself.

Even so, I call out, “Tessa?” because I’m weak.

I just don’t know what else to say. What’s another lie now? Let her focus on keeping the one we have going already.

So I grab my leather jacket and leave.

In a few hours, when I’ve eaten, healed and slept I can stick that casual, evening meal mask on and make up some nonsense. Get her some flowers. Get tactical about this mate bond shit. I need to be rock solid to prevent anyone pointing fingers my way when the shitshow finally gives

way.

Tessa can exist in our little bubble of innocence for a while longer.

Turning away from the accommodation block, zipping my jacket high I realise there is nobody else I can confide this to. Maybe I should shift. Try and get my shit together.

Especially because I need Tessa to bite me again. Ideally tonight. There is no point being exposed now, not when everything hangs in the balance.

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“Hey! You’re back!” cries out a familiar voice. I spin around to be

confronted by a small, furious–looking Irene. A languid, slinking Allette following close behind, a bright turquoise silk scarf forming a headband across her black hair today. Her amused, curving smile greets me.

Irene snaps quickly, zero smile on her gentle features. “What are you looking at?”

+28

“You’ve got blue paint on your face,” noticing her familiar tan freckles have been gifted a few more tiny splodges. Her pale green eyes are not diverted for a second. Shit. How badly did this morning go? I warned Tessa about the landmines back on the train.

“What about your mate?”

“I’m sure Tessa did fine. The landmine round is tricky for everyone, they

all hit at least one.”

Irene places her hands on her hips. “She nearly broke her ankle. Hit four landmines I think Briggs said. We had to help get her back to the room.”

People are watching, strolling past and chuckling. A Beta’s ass getting handed to me by a petite, quiet first–year.

“I had no idea. I went to our room and she was in the shower.”

“Lucky Tessa,” Allette smirks. Irene shoots her a glare just as angry as the one she gave me.

The bells ring and Irene looks up at the packhouse towers with a furrowed brow. “I’ve got to go. Let Tessa rest. And then say sorry to her. Really say sorry. She was upset about you vanishing on her like that.”

“How do you know I’m not already planning that?”

“You shouldn’t need to plan it. She’s your mate, you should know straight away.”

Well…fuck off Irene. Instead I shrug. Like someone too cool to be

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bothered by having a mate. Like a show–off prick.

Irene turns and walks away. The Armoury section is right at the other side of the packhouse, huge barns converted into forges and smelting blocks.

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I watch her leave and notice the real reason she had to get away at exactly that moment. Silas was walking into the packhouse next to Kai, the pair of them deep in conversation as the huge packhouse doorway swallowed them whole.

If they saw me, they clearly thought better than to approach, which only reminds me of the shit I blurted out Warden Marshall earlier.