Shadow Slave novel Chapter 770

'Argh! What an infuriating woman!'

Sunny appeared from the shadows and resumed his position in the corner. No one seemed to have noticed his absence, which was for the best.

Their short conversation with Nephis had been interrupted by the appearance of a ghastly demon with six arms and charred black holes instead of eyes. Sunny had done his best to restrain the abomination while Nightmare attacked it from the back. In the end, they managed to destroy it without sustaining any wounds.

It had not been an easy battle, though.

After that, Sunny felt too confused to continue the conversation, and instead chose to return to the waking world.

'Because I do… that doesn't even make any sense!'

It seemed that Neph's whole existence was designed to continuously stump him. From their first conversation on the Forgotten Shore until now, he just could not get how her mind worked. Protecting Cassie simply because she wanted to, caring about people simply because she did… the sheer audacity of being so unapologetically strange and irrational made him fume.

Especially so because he suspected that Nephis somehow derived strength from this bizarre attitude. Was that what Effie had meant when she talked about conviction?

Sunny did not really understand what exactly it was that she thought he lacked. Was it will or determination? If so, the huntress was terribly mistaken. He might not have been the most principled of people, but few could boast of having more determination than Sunny. Otherwise, he would not have survived all the terrible trials that life had thrown his way.

But maybe… maybe conviction was something else. Maybe having will and determination was not enough, unless they were aimed at something precise, and guided by a singular purpose. After all, having a sharp sword was useless unless it was brandished against an enemy.

Was conviction a guiding principle that shaped formless power and determination into a sharp blade? Was it an unbreakable will to achieve a certain purpose?

No… it was not so simple. Sunny was not without a purpose, after all. He had his own goals — to have a good life, to be free, to make sure that those he cared about were safe. Why were these values not worthy of being called a conviction?

If there was one thing he noticed, it was that all of his desires were centered around him. They were all aimed inside. He did not think that there was anything wrong with that… in fact, he considered it a great virtue.

Nephis, on the other hand, disregarded herself to an almost demented degree in pursuit of her goals. All her desires were aimed outside, and incredibly ambitious.

Was that the meaning of conviction, then? Was it not only important to have a purpose, but also for the nature of that purpose to be larger than oneself? For the principles that guided one's determination to be founded in something vast and deep, thus pushing the person to rise higher and strive for more?

All that sounded too high and mighty to Sunny. He was more inclined to value his own simple goals over such lofty ambitions.

However, he couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable at the thought that someone with a greater purpose had an inherent advantage over someone who just wanted to be left alone, as he did.

Unfortunately for Sunny, he was fated to compete against exactly this kind of people if he wanted to be free to live his life as he seemed fit. Only if he became greater than all of them would they leave him be.

Which was bound to result in a very inconvenient paradox…

'Why am I even thinking about this? Damned Effie and her damned moments of insightfulness… who says she's even right?'