One More Chance novel Chapter 122

~~~I told you from the start, I won't be demanding. If you'll have a change of heart, I'll be understanding. I'll never try to hold you back, I wouldn't try controlling you. If it's what you want, what I want, I want what's best for you. And if it's something else that you're looking for, I'll be the first to help you try. Believe me when I say it's hard to say goodbye~~~

-Paul Anka and Celine Dion-

~~~

SAM's POV:

"Mommy?"

"Hmmm... yes, baby?" I immediately wiped my tears when the door to my room suddenly opened and the face of my adorable daughter hugging her favourite stuffed toy, came into my view.

It's the same day David and I talked and finally said goodbye.

"Can I sleep here?" She asked, her face full of hesitation as she waited for my answer.

"Of course, baby. Come here," I motioned my baby girl to come to me and she did right after closing the door.

I hugged her as soon as she threw herself on the bed.

"Mommy, can I ask you something?" She asked after a few minutes.

I looked at her confused but then nodded.

"Sure, what is it, baby?"

I waited a few minutes for her question and I frowned when she got up, so I have no choice but to get up too.

"Mommy, where is Uncle David?"

"Uhm..." I was kinda surprised by her question and was not sure if I must tell her the truth.

"I haven't seen him these past few days."

"Uncle David..." I paused and stared at her. "He went back to New York, Cali."

"He went back to New York?" Her eyes widened as she repeated what I had said. "But why didn't he say goodbye to me?"

And that made me bite my bottom lip.

"Actually, he really wanted to say goodbye to you, it's just that he needed to get back to his work because he said there were a lot of patients waiting for him, so he just told me to kiss you goodbye."

She didn't say anything, she just nodded.

"Mommy..."

"Hmm?"

"Will Uncle David see us again? Have you already broken up with him?"

My mouth hung in mid-air as I didn't expect to hear her follow up question.

"Cali, how did you know about it?"

She lowered her head, fidgeting her fingers before answering my question.

"Auntie Jack told me."

"I knew it---"

"Please don't be mad at her, mommy? Honestly, I've always seen you cry and out of thoughts in the last few days and daddy too, so I asked Auntie Jack what's going on with you."

"What do you mean about your daddy?"

"He always asked about you and his expression changed every time he heard of Uncle David."

I don't know what to feel nor what to say when I heard those words. I just took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a while.

And at that moment, I lost. I immediately lifted her into my lap, pulled her closer to me and hugged her like the first time I held her in my arms.

"I'm sorry, baby..."

"You shouldn't be sorry, mommy. Grandma and Auntie Jack have already explained it to me."

I bit my lip hearing the name of my best friend and of course my mother, but somehow I thanked them for taking care of my daughter and for explaining the things that I myself couldn't explain to her directly.

"Would you be mad at me if I don't choose your daddy?"

She looked at me, shaking her head.

"If I don't choose him, we will never be a family again."

"I know, but I also know that nothing will change between my relationship with him. I will still be his daughter and he will still be my father and we will always see each other."

I just hugged her but didn't try to open my mouth again. The words she said truly ingrained into my soul. How can an eight-year-old understand the things that only adults should understand?

I watched her sleep that night in my arms, reminiscing some old memories when she was young and I couldn't help the smile that curled up against my lips

~~~

It was on the third day when I got the courage to call Luke and asked him to meet me at the beach he bought about six years ago and which was named after our daughter. Maybe the conversation with Cali a few nights ago somehow gave me the strength to gather all the courage I have that very moment. I have to do it now before confusion eats me up again and all that I have mustered disappears.

A small smile curled up against my lips as I wandered my eyes around and some memories of the past came to my mind.

It's the exact place where I first heard Luke calling me his wife. It was also the first time I felt being appreciated by the man I loved. My first love. This was where my dreams started building again and it's all because of him and my daughter. But who would have thought that those happy memories we had and shared in this place could be the first and last at the same time?

For several years that I've been trapped between the love and hatred, I have for him. I was just sixteen when I realized that I love him. I was seventeen when I made what I considered the biggest mistake in my life. We got married... I got married at the same age and gave birth at 18. Fours years have passed that I had become desperate for his love. I begged for his time and his attention, but the 22-year-old me found out that my beloved husband was cheating. He's cheating on me and the woman he chose to give his love to was his ex-girlfriend. The woman he first loved.

That time I decided to end up my misery and gave up on my dreams. Those dreams had been part of my journey as being his wife. His miserable wife that no one had known. Eventually, I realized that it's hard to wait around for something that may never happen or for someone who would never love you back. But at that time it was even harder to give up when it was or should I say he was everything that I wanted.

Another four years have passed and in those four years, I have tried, at least I have tried to erase all the memories of him inside me, all the feelings I had for him and all the things that happened. I met David and somehow fell in love with him. And because he was the one who showed me what real love was and how to be appreciated, I thought the feelings I have for Luke had completely vanished, but I was wrong.