Shattered by the Alpha Stronger Than Ever novel Chapter 59

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Along with finding my footing on the journey of moving on, Keith keeps appearing everywhere, his presence a constant reminder of the heartache I was trying to escape. Like a specter haunting my every step, he began showing up at the places I frequented, his sudden appearances a jarring disruption to my determined efforts. It was as if he was determined to yank me back into the darkness of our past, refusing to let me find the light of liberation and healing that I so desperately sought.

The bouquet of Lilies at Dexter’s place had become a daily occurrence. For the first three days, 1 callously discarded the flowers in the trash, thinking. If he wants his money to will away, that’s his problem.‘ But as the days passed, my conscience began to stir. I thought about the farmers who had tenderly nurtured those blooms, the florists who had carefully arranged them, and the delivery person who

had brought them to my doorstep.

I couldn’t bear the thought of their efforts ending in a landfill. So, I decided to give the flowers a new purpose. I dropped them off at a local shop that collected used blooms to create fragrances.

After shadowing me on my departure, Keith lingered on the wooden bench by the park, waiting for my return. When I drove back home, he attempted to cover the distance between us with tentative words, but I resolved to ignore him, to pretend he was just my painful past, a hallucination I’d endured for six long years.

I shielded myself against the piercing whisper of his voice, the desperate pleading that threatened to unravel the fragile threads of my “healing. But I knew I had to resist, to learn to numb the hurt, to silence the echoes of what we once had. I had to constantly register the

reality to my heart, that I had lost the man I loved, and that the only way forward was to let go, to pretend he didn’t exist, until the

pretending became my reality.

In the darkest moments, a small, selfish part of me whispers ‘what if?‘ – what if he had stumbled, but not fallen so far? What if his mistake had been forgivable, redeemable? But the harsh truth is, fate didn’t dictate his actions; he chose to cheat, to shatter the trust,

to break the bond.

He could have walked away, reached out, talked to me there were countless ways to avoid the devastation he picked. But he made his choice, and now he must face the consequences. I will not carry the weight of his mistakes he must lie in the bed he made, alone with

the loneliness be had brought to himself.

“Earth to Karry,” Chelsea’s voice broke the spell, summoning me back to the present.

I conjured a smile, a mask to conceal my turmoil, as I gazed out at the selfless friends gathered around me. Before me, a stunning blueberry cake beckoned, its white frosting adorned with intricate designs courtesy of Leo and Xavi’s culinary skills.

The flickering candles cast a warm glow, but as I sliced into the moist delight, I couldn’t shake off the crushing guilt. My numbness was envious of their enthusiasm, a disconnect that left me feeling like an outsider. The flavors danced on my taste buds, a short term pleasure, but the joy that filled the room refused to penetrate my depressing armor. I was still learning to be strong, but to find happiness – It was a victory yet to be achieved. I was trapped in a prison of my own making, unable to fully embrace the love and warmth surrounding me.

Corwin’s parents, whom affectionately called Ma and Papa, were also present, their warm smiles a testament to their unwavering support. My friends, too, had gathered around me, striking a delicate balance between giving me space and being beside me. What better occasion to surround me with love and care than my birthday? It was as if they knew I needed a reminder that I wasn’t alone, that I was still worthy of celebration and joy.

Their presence was a blessing, that even in the darkest moments, there was still so much to be grateful for, the people who loved me, who stood by me, and who refused to let me face my struggles alone.

This birthday, once envisioned as a celebration after our wedding, now feels sullied by the memories that were once the most beautiful moments of my life. Keith’s exaggerated promises, his rushed attempts to impress me, all seem unnecessary in hindsight.

He had already captured my heart with his affection; he didn’t need to shower me with material possessions. But what I truly craved, what I begged for, was his loyalty, his promise to never cheat, to be mine alone. Alas, those vows were shattered, leaving my life in ruins. The soil of my heart, once fertile and ready for love to bloom, now lies barren and toxic.

I recognize that I must mend the pieces of myself that were shattered, not by my own doing, but by the hands of another. Before I can even contemplate opening myself up to love again, I need to focus on healing and restoration. Trusting a man, anyone, feels like an

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unachievable task, a mission impossible.

But I know that I must confront this challenge, not for the sake of others, but for myself. I must learn to trust again, to love again, and to believe that I am worthy of both. The journey ahead will be burdensome, but I am resolute in my determinations.

My friends mercifully kept my birthday low–key and subdued, a far cry from our typical raucous celebrations, which usually featured ear–shattering music, endless rounds of drinks, and ended with us crashing out, and I felt grateful for that. Regardless the fact that I was adapting to this new life, I yearned for peace more than ever before – perhaps because Keith once embodied my peace, but now he’s just a painful reminder.