Shattered by the Alpha Stronger Than Ever novel Chapter 122

Chapter 08

The questions swirled in my mind wobbling and stumbling, leaving me feeling disoriented and uncertain. I felt like I was a stranger, someone who was supposed to be me, but whose thoughts and emotions were now a mystery. The realization was both unsettling and liberating, like standing at the edge of a precipice, staring into the unknown, and wondering who I was, and who I was meant to be

But I knew about the person I wanted to be the Karissa my mom had always believed in, the one she saw when she looked at me with eyes full of love and hope. I wanted to be strong, to rise above the pain and the heartache, to find happiness not in spite of my pain and life’s unfaimess. I wanted to be a person who could find purpose in life, who could transform her struggles into strengths, and emerge victorious.

My mind began to wander, poking and prodding at the astonishing revelation that Deckard had never been with anyone. Emotionally or sexually. It seemed impossible, didn’t it? He was almost thirty–three, and yet…I thought back to our conversations, our friendship, and realized that we had never really discussed our personal lives, our relationships, or our intimacy. We had always maintained a certain level of reserve, a boundary that had never been crossed. And now, I found myself wondering, had he really been alone all these years? Had he never felt the touch of another person, never experienced the intimacy of a romantic relationship? The questions swims in my mind. Should I ask him? Would he find it uncomfortable? I hesitated, unsure of how to proceed, unsure of how he would react. But at the same time, I felt a deep–seated need to know, to understand him better, to comprehend the sacrifices he had made, and the choices he had taken.

I held my breath, my heart pounding in anticipation, as I asked. “Have you never been with anyone, Deckard?”

His eyes settled on me, his gaze burning with an intensity that seemed to pierce my very soul. For a moment, he didn’t respond, his face a mask of calm, but his eyes…his eyes told a different story. They spoke of secrets, of desires, of longings that had been locked away for far too long

“No, no to all, emotionally, physically, mentally, sexually,” he responded casually, his voice matter–of–fact, his expression unreadable. My eyes widened in shock, and before I could control it, a sott gasp escaped my lips. Mortified, I instinctively cupped my hand over my mouth, hoping to hide my reaction. But it was too late. Deckard’s eyes narrowed, his gaze turning quizzical as he stared at me, his silence curious. The atmosphere seemed oxygen less, and I could feel my face burning with embarrassment as I struggled to compose myself.

“There’s no way-“I started to say, but my voice trailed off, my words slipping back down my throat as I struggled to process the revelation. Deckard, however, seemed entirely unbothered, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes.

“That I am a virgin,” he nudged the topic, finding my expressions entertaning.

“You act like it’s a bad thing, Hamsty,” he pointed out, the upper corner of is lips curled into a heated smirk. It was as if I had been given new eyes, ones that could see him with perfect clarity, and I was struck by the sheer handsomeness of the man in front of me. His messy surfer hair, with waves that cascaded past his ears, framed his face with a relaxed, effortless charm. His brown eyes, deep and alluring, sparkled with a glint that seemed that could lure anyone. And his beard, perfectly imperfect, only added to his rugged, handsome allure, accentuating the strong lines of his face and the gentle curve of his thin lips.

I cleared my throat, trying to compose myself as I struggled to wrap my head around the truth. “Uhm, no,” I stammered, my mind racing with questions and doubts. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Deckard, but the revelation was just so… enormous. He, Deckard, the strong handsome man who had been by my side for so long, had remained a virgin? The implications were staggering, and I couldn’t help but wonder… was it for me? Had he been waiting for me all this time?

As I searched his eyes for answers, Deckard’s gaze swivel into a meaningful glimmer his expression giving away his longing. He reached out, his hand envelopes mine in a warm, comforting grasp. His thumb glided soothingly up and down the back of my hand earning a flip of my weak heart.

“If I say I love you, it means I love you in every way, Karissa,” he uttered his voice pressing and rough. “It means I am yours, and yours alone, even if I couldn’t have you. I would’ve lived loving you, and died doing the same.” His promissory words struck a chord deep within me, and I felt a rush of emotions as memories came flooding back

I remembered the time he was severely injured in the military, a bullet piercing his chest, mere inches from his heart. The long. grueling recovery that followed- nine weeks in the hospital, four months of bed rest. The remembrance of him lying in that hospital bed, his body broken and battered, yet his spirit remaining unbroken, filled me with a sense of awe and wonder. And now, as I looked into his eyes, I realized that his love for me had been his constant devotion, the rope of hope that had he held through even the darkest Chapter 108

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of times.

I remember the desperation and fear that had gripped me when I heard about Deckard’s injury. I remembered how, even in his half–conscious state, he had whispered my name, over and over, as if I was the only one that could hold him to this world. The medical team had been baffled, wondering if it was because I was the last person he had spoken to, or if there was something more to it. Whatever the reason. Thad flown down to Montana immediately, my heart heavy with worry. It had taken a week for him to be stable enough to be transferred, and those had been the longest seven days of my life.

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