Shattered by the Alpha Stronger Than Ever novel Chapter 109

Chapter95

Xaviera and Dexter also stopped by to visit, but I was too numb to respond. I was paralyzed by pain and horror, unable to muster even a faint word. Even Keith made an appearance, checking in on me with a semblance of concern, but I remained unmoved. I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to engage with him or anyone else. All I wanted was to be left alone, to retreat into the emptiness that had taken up residence inside me.

But Deckard refused to give up on me. He sat beside me, as he reminisced about the times I’d been truly happy, how he was so proud of me. He spoke of the people who loved me, who cared for me, and his words slowly chipped away at the numbness that had encased my heart. I felt the dam break, and I began to shake, tears streaming down my face as the reality of my grief finally began to surface.

His arms enveloped me once more, holding me with a tender ferocity that seemed to cradle my very soul. I shattered into his embrace, my body shalding violently as 1 unleashed a downpour of silent agony. My lost voice, coming back with despair.

“Why? Why does this keep happening to me?” My words tumbled out in a heart–wrenching plea. “I lost my mother, my father doesn’t care if I live or die… I don’t think Keith ever truly loved me… and now, the one thing that brought me joy, the one person I thought would be mine forever… is gone!” My voice erupted into a painful muffled scream, “Why? Why?!”

“I’m done, Deckard. I just can’t do this anymore.” I shook my head, feeling the weight of my exhaustion. The thought of facing the world again, of trying to heal and move forward, seemed like an enormous task. The prospect of it all was draining, and it terrified me.

“Look at me, Karissa. Look at me,” Deckard urged, his hands gently yet firmly cradling my face, forcing me to meet his gaze. I shook my head, my voice weak as I kept muttering, “I can’t do this…”

“I know it feels like you’re dying inside, but the truth is, you’re alive, Karissa. You’re here, and you’re strong,” Deckard reassured, his voice filled with gentle admiration as he held my face firmly so I don’t look away.

I shook my head, my voice cracking as I whimpered, “I’m not strong. I don’t have the strength to be strong anymore.” His expression softened, and he leaned down to press a tender kiss to my sweaty forehead.

“Then let me be the strength you need,” he urged, his eyes brimming with a deep, puzzling affection that seemed to hold me together.

“I feel like I’ve lost all sense of purpose, Deckard. It’s like there’s this emptiness inside me, that’s eating me.” I gestured to myself with both hands, my eyes welling up with tears as I struggled to swallow the nausea rising up in my throat.

“And even if I do find a way to keep going.” I whispered, my voice breaking, “I don’t want this kind of life, a lite devoid of love.“I swallowed hard, the words lodging in my throat like a fish bone. “I’ve seen my mom live that life-“I shuddered, “It’s scary.”

Despite the love and warmth I’d experienced from Corwin’s family, Deckard’s family, and their grandparents and siblings, who had all welcomed me with open arms on holidays and the rare occasions my father allowed it, my life had been predominantly defined by my father’s toxicity and Keith’s deception. For three years, Keith had fed me lies, only to reveal that I was never his true choice, just a trophy he’d settled for

I longed for a life overflowing with daily love, where every morning would bring the assurance of a family that was truly mine – people who would love and care for me, and whom I could love and care for in return. But lately, it felt like I was waking up to a never–ending battle, lighting one challenge alter another, with no respite in sight.

“Who says there’s no love in your life,?” He whispered, his forehead gently resting against mine as I hiccuped, a sob building up in my throat. “There are so many people who love you, blood ties or not,” he continued, his voice soft and persuasive. “Corwin, his parents, Leona, my parents, my grandparents, my siblings… we all care about you deeply. You’re not alone!”

“And above all, I Love You,” Deckard declared, his voice trembling with sighing relief. His dark chocolaty eyes, normally guarded with compassion, now shone with unbridled love.

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