I squeezed my eyes shut, willing my trembling body to calm. If this went on, it’d only get worse.
This was it. The moment I had to end this madness. Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself.
"Gamma Rhett," I started, "This... this can’t go on."
He turned to face me fully, his expression unreadable. "What can’t go on, Isleen?"
Why was he acting oblivious? It was obvious what couldn’t go on, wasn’t it?
"This," I gestured between us, "Us. It’s wrong, it’s forbidden, and it has to stop."
I saw him tilt his head. "I thought there was no– US...?"
Oh, Geez.
Why was he doing this to me? He definitely knew what I meant. This oblivious facade of his was a trap– I needed to be careful.
"I mean, to make sure to make sure that there can never be an ’us’, I must do this." I shrugged.
I was trying to appear smug but heaven knows that it was a whirlwind of chaos in me. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes, or face. I had my gaze fixated on his jacket and admired his well-sewn suit.
"Rhett Darkwater..." I began, feeling like the car had been suffocating despite the air conditioning. "I, Isleen Gracia reject you as my mate."
There, I did and said it.
A heavy silence stretched between us afterward. His eyes, the same dark brown that held the vastness of the night, held me captive. I saw a flicker of something- maybe pain, maybe surprise, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.
Then, a scoff escaped his lips, morphing into a full-blown, disbelieving laugh. It grated on my nerves, but I held my ground, refusing to flinch.
What was so funny about this?
Why was this man so unnerving me?
"Rejecting me, Isleen?" he finally asked, the amusement gone from his voice. It was now replaced by a dangerous edge. "Is that what you’re doing?"
It was pretty much obvious, wasn’t it?
I just had to do this, for me, for Kylo, and even for him. He’d lose his son should he have me. I’m sure he wasn’t ready to make such a sacrifice all in the name of his devotion and beliefs.
"Yes," I whispered, my gaze dropping to my lap. I couldn’t bear to see the reaction in his eyes.
He remained silent for a moment that seemed like an eternity. The tension between us in the car seemed to rise with every second.
Then, he spoke with a low but calculated voice. "Look at me, Isleen," he commanded, his tone leaving no room for argument.
No. No. No.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. This wasn’t how I’d planned it. He couldn’t do this. Gamma Rhett shouldn’t do this.
I shook my head. "Y— you don’t understand, Gamma Rhett. You have to accept my rejection. What do plan on doing? Claiming me? Marking me? Do you not fear for Kylo? Do you not worry about what condition you would drop your son at? Do you not worry about your relationship with Kylo getting ruined beyond repair? Kylo would hate you, hate me, hate us. It would destroy him. The two people he cares about the most in the world would betray him. That is what anyone shouldn’t be made to go through. Do you not fear for what the pack would think? Say? Especially with your position in the pack?"
He was silent. It was his turn to look away from me. Not even a flinch escaped from him as he turned to the view outside the car in front of him. I watched him, hoping I had gotten to him.
I hoped my words had broken through and hit somewhere. He couldn’t be as nonchalant as he made himself seem, could he?
He’d got to care about his son’s happiness and worry about their relationship ending. He couldn’t just be a heartless man in a fine body.
Could he?
Finally, he spoke. Thank the Moon Goddess.
"So, you think about Kylo, about the pack, about everyone else, but not about yourself, Isleen?"
Oh, no. I was wrong. He was a lost cause.
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