(Winona)
Lisa finally emerges from her bedroom, her eyes red-rimmed, her face pale.
I stand from the couch, where I’ve been sitting for what feels like hours.
“Hey,” I say softly.
She doesn’t answer at first, just walks to the kitchen. Her movements are slow, deliberate, like she’s holding herself together with sheer will.
I take a tentative step closer. “Lisa... can I get you anything?”
She turns to me, her expression a mix of sadness and exhaustion as she shakes her head. “I don’t know, Winona. None of this feels real.”
Her voice breaks, and she presses her hands against the counter, her head bowed. “I’m so angry at him. I’m so damn angry. Why did he have to do this?”
I move closer, keeping my voice gentle. “I know. And it’s not fair. None of it is. But you’re allowed to feel everything. The anger, the disbelief, the confusion—it’s all valid.”
She lets out a shaky breath, lifting her head to meet my gaze. “I wish he loved me enough to stick around.”
“No, Lisa,” I say firmly. “He loved you. As much as he was capable of loving anyone, he loved you. You can’t blame yourself. No matter what, it was his choice in the end.”
She nods, but the tears spilling down her cheeks betray her resolve. “I know. But I just wish I’d seen this coming.”
I step closer, placing a hand on her arm. “How could we possibly? Lance... had demons, Lisa. He carried them for so long. I don’t think he ever truly believed anyone could help him, no matter how much they loved him. He never wanted to love anyone and then leave them behind.”
“Except that’s exactly what happened. I’m left behind.”
“Yes. But with time, you’ll find happiness.”
Her lips tremble as she wipes at her face. “I just wish he’d given me a chance. I would’ve fought for him, you know? I would’ve done anything.”
“I know you would’ve,” I say softly. “And I think he knew that too. Jayden said he got a USB. He watched it. It was Lance. But I never asked him for details.”
“Is Jayden okay? This is so much harder for him.”
“Yes. He’s in control mode, for now. Cass and Viktor are with him still,” I say. “He’s organizing getting them home as soon as possible.”
“And you and bub? Do you feel okay?”
“I’m going for a check up tomorrow, more scans and to make sure the baby is doing fine since the trip.”
“Oh, we were going house hunting…”
I know Lisa. She needs to do things her way, in her own time.
“Okay,” I say finally. “But you call, text, whatever. Day or night.”
“I will,” she says, managing a faint smile. “Let me know how you go tomorrow. Get some rest too. Give the kids a hug.”
“I will.”
My mind is on the USB as I close Lisa’s door.
I want to watch it as much as I don’t want to. It will make things somehow more final. To see his cheeky grin. To hear his laugh. To see the pain behind his eyes that he’d carried a lifetime.
If anyone is to blame, it’s his parents. How they could treat their own child that way is criminal. He never felt worthy of being loved. He’d told me that a long time ago.
When I think back, there were lots of clues that he’d intended to end it at some point. But you know, you just don’t take it as that at the time. It’s a joke or something. It’s no joke now.
Lance could never see his way out of his darkness, but I know something for sure.
Our world will be a darker place without Lance Collins.
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