"Adrian I'm sorry. But her heart gave up. Lily's dead."
I blink at her. I wanted to laugh. Why, well because I am the worst mate that ever walked on this earth.
I let her die.
I smile at Jake and whispered, " Kill me. Or I will."
My mom sobs began to become muffled as my mind slowly went to blank.
I felt numb. I actually have no idea what it is that I'm feeling. Hearing those words made my pain gradually decrease. It could be that my sanity completely left me, turning me into a psycho with no emotions.
I get up and walked the other way. Where something was calling me.
I drag my body with me.
It was as if I'm learning how to function my body once more.
I fell a couple of times before reaching my destination. On the other side of the forest was a giant cliff. I could hear waves splashing against each other.
I slowly walk towards the edge and looked at the pitch black ocean.
I look behind me and I could clearly see my mom, Jake, the rest of the pack. Their lips moved but I couldn't hear them. All I could hear was the sound of the waves.
It's hard for an animal like myself to die. Sure we have our weaknesses but because of our healing; it could take awhile.
I've seen wolves jump of cliffs before and it looks like they are in excruciating pain. There is the chance we might die of hypothermia, but again it might take awhile, or in general die because of the drowning.
Sure the fastest way would be silver bullet or decapitation.
But desperate times call for desperate measures and I need to be gone.
It hurts...
Knowing I'm pathetic.
That I couldn't do anything for Lily.
My eyes burned. My head hurt like never before, felt as if someone just bashed into my head and picked at every nerve. My entire soul is broken.
I wanted to do nothing but rip it all, myself.
I stare at my hands knowing that I could just do it myself, that I didn't have to wait for something to take them off.
I bring my hands closer to my left eyeball.
I push my fingers in, digging in deep, not caring for the pain.
I could feel blood drip down my face. The noises behind me got quiet.
I then pluck out my eyeball. I could feel an immense pain. Ignoring the pain I squeeze the eyeball and watched it burst.
I wasn't worthy for these beautiful body parts that makes life a wonderful fortune. I look at the sky once more and I saw Lily.
I gasp and looked at her. Even if this was a hallucination, I was seeing someone that I didn't deserve to see. Giving her one last look. I grab my right eye and pull it out of it socket. Bringing back the immense pain before I completely go numb. I stared...
I stared at my new life.
Pitch blackness.
Absolutely nothing.
Wether it's light or darkness. It's completely empty. It made you feel alone.
I squeeze my right eyeball in my hand, yet this time only feeling it burst.
I could feel people near me; touching me. I'm not sure if they were screaming or encouraging me.
I couldn't understand light to darkness. My mind has given up completely and now it is just an organ with no functions.
I didn't even know what to do next. Do I beg them to kill me or just fall down and let myself drown.
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